Innocent No More

( Put behind a cut so the pictures don't kill people's F-lists )

First off, my hats off to all you lucky ladies and gents who are getting to hang out with your SO this holiday season. I won't lie, I'm really jealous. ^^

This is my second Christmas as a girlfriend, and our second as a long distance couple; last year, he was still at home with his family while I was trying to find a job in Wisconsin. It was also my first Christmas away from home, so it was very stressful and lonely, but he did his best to make me feel better about it.

This year, he's in college and I'm at work in Ohio. Again, because I started in the middle of the year and therefore all the senior folks had reserved Christmas holidays before me, I can't fly home. :\ He's flying back home to Texas to spend the time with his family, which I can understand; I don't quite have the money right now to fly or drive to him or vice versa, and I'm sure his family misses him like I know mine missed me.

I've met his mother once, and she seemed to like me; she said she was glad that he had someone he really cared about in his life, which made me so happy, I was SO nervous about meeting her the first time. XD

I got him Christmas presents, and I was planning to mail them to his dorm, but I just found out that they're restricting mail for the week of Christmas. So, I'm thinking of mailing it directly to his family's home.

In short, I've only met his mother and that was all of once. Do you think it's appropriate to send his presents to his house, and put him in the position of explaining who they came from to everyone there? It's not a matter of shame; he's a bit of a reserved guy and I don't know how many people he's told about our relationship. He hates being put on the spot, and I'm sure alot of us know how it feels to have people give you a weird eye because you're in a LDR. Should I wait and send them after Christmas to his dorm?

I'm getting married in just under three weeks to my boy. We've been dating for over six years and have been LD for about four of those.

His mom- who converted to Judaism to marry his father is freaking out. My fiance doesn't really practice, hasn't in years, and has never once even considered asking me to convert, and we would both consider it to be ludicrously hypocritical to do so just to satisfy her.

The woman is fairly unhinged and xenophobic to an alarming degree. She insists that any children we have will be "confused" by their mixed heritage (I'm Hispanic btw, born in Texas, lived here all my life, but speak terrible Spanish...) and won't have a sense of identity, either in religion or culture.

Um. Right. The 1950's called and they want their stupid racist comments back.

So this goes out to you, my LDers- I figured that with so many people in relationships that span the nation, and the world you would have some insight. Maybe some of your are the products of mixed parentage. Has this affected you at all? Have you ever felt a negative impact from having a mixed culture or a mixed relationship? Did you ever feel you lacked an identity?

Honestly, this isn't even something that crossed my mind other than a "I wonder if I can get him to eat _____ some time if I make it" musing. We both find it ridiculous and have a handful of friends with mixed backgrounds and they seem to function just fine. XD What can you all share with me?

can anyone give me a link of how to land? i had it before but cant find it

Ok, so I'm not sure who among us has heard about, or will be affected by this. Basically, British Airways will be striking, as of the 22nd, and continuing through the 2nd of January. Wow, that's just... mean:(

I'm guessing that I'm not the only one who's been following this (my boy will be flying 20th-21st, and we knew this could potentially derail his plans), but I wanted to be sure to post this here, so that anyone who didn't could start re-planning ASAP. This might be a good place for people who've been through anything similar, or anyone who might have suggestions about navigating this mess, to post ideas. :-\

hey everyone! i need some quick help.

yesterday Micah and i had a pretty big conflict, which led to both of us getting kind of mean, angry, and upset. the end result was that i confessed some things that really bug me about our relationship dynamic, and he felt pretty awful about them and says that he wants to change, starting now.

this afternoon, as i was cramming for my first final of the semester, i got a message that i had a package at desk. when i went downstairs, i found a vase with a small bouquet of roses with a little teddy bear and a box of nice chocolates, with a sweet message from him saying, "Consider this a new beginning, love, Micah". i know they weren't cheap (because flower deliveries never are) and they really brightened up my day and give me faith that our relationship is going to be okay and we can work through these problems together.

so here's my dilemma. i want to do something similarly sweet/thoughtful/showing him that i have faith in us. unfortunately, his school doesn't have the convenience of delivery to dormitories (all packages/deliveries go to the student center) and it often takes days before students' packages are logged and students are able to pick them up. hence, sending flowers would be pretty difficult and i can't send a care package or anything because we'll both be leaving for home in 5 days.

does anyone have suggestions for things that i can do right now, tonight? i already send him e-cards and texts and whatnot, so i'm wondering if there's a fancy e-card site that i could order a "one-time-only" e-card from that might be suitable, or maybe if i could order a phone serenade from somewhere? i'm thinking about ordering him delivery for dinner tonight so that the delivery guy shows up right after he gets home from work, at about 8 pm...what do you think? i don't have a lot of time to spend designing/planning something because i have a final worth 40% of my grade tomorrow, so i'm looking for something fairly simple, too.

any feedback is really appreciated! since i can't show up at his door with a box of cookies, i'm trying to find the next best thing. i figure that some of you have experience with similar conflicts/resolutions!

thanks everyone. hope those of you in college are feeling good about your finals, and that everyone is looking forward to the holidays!

cheers,
augustine

I don't know why, but it seems as if the closer it gets to him going home the more stressed and hopeless I feel. Things have been a little rocky in terms of communication as of late, and as it comes closer to him coming home I feel more panicked. As hopeful as I am that our communication and expression of feelings towards one another will instantly improve, i'm afraid that the hurt that has already been done will ruin any chance of making things right again. Ergggg. I'm frustrated, and I miss you babe.

What do you do to keep from going crazy when you can't seem to make contact with a typically easy to reach SO?

My boyfriend and I keep pretty frequent phone contact either via call or text. When I called this morning, he was already awake. Turns out, he hadn't gone to bed. He'd stayed up all night playing Madden with the guys (who had done some drinking). Whatever. So, he goes out to play frisbee golf late this morning, calls me after that and tells me that he and the guys are going to get lunch. He told me he'd call me right after. It's been hours and no contact. So, I called and texted. No answer or return call/text.

The worry is setting in. The kind that has the constant stream of paranoid thoughts running through my head: "What if there was an accident? What if the driver fell asleep at the wheel? What if what if what if?"

It's not that I don't trust him. It's just that gut-wrenching fear that SOMETHING HAPPENED.

Ugh, aspects of LDR like this are so frustrating...

Wishing I could be with him for Christmas...but we still have no idea when we'll be together again.

This News Years is going to be tough for me...because last year we were together. Last year we were determined to make this our year-the year we finally were together forever. But...that didn't happen.

I am happy to see so many who get to reunite for Christmas and I hope you enjoy it. Take lots of pics, I wanna see them!

So who is reuniting for Christmas? :D Tell us when and where you're going, what your plans are, how you're feeling... anything.

I know there's been a few posts, but just thinking it would be interesting to have a whole thread about it. As for me, I'm returning (from Japan) back to England on the 23rd. I'll be there for 2 weeks, spending the time with my family and boyfriend. This is our first reunion since I left 3 and a half months ago. I'm feeling excited, but also very nervous! I'm a bit worried things won't be the same as they were before I left. On top of that, I think my boyfriend is proposing. It's something we talked about quite a bit when I first got here, but lately not so much. I'm thinking maybe he is nervous too. I don't really know what he has planned but if I get home and everything just feels the same as it did before I left, I will say yes for sure :) btw we have been togther for nearly 3 years.

and in that week he's proposing..
this is basically what i posted in my forum.. and it's alot.. so i'm just copy&pasting it here..
okay.. so for those of you who know things about me and my SO.. steven.. you know that we've been together a couple months now.. talked for a while.. went to hs together.. yada yada yada.. well things with him are so different.. i used to always be so hard headed about falling in love so fast... and with him i did.. i fell so fast and so hard..

i used to be so stubborn on dating another military after matt cheated on me when we were engaged.. and after that i never thought i would.. wanna take marriage into consideration.. especially when i dated josh.. he was so abusive.. physically and verbally.. he would bring up marriage and it would scare me even more.. but with steven.. i want a forever with him.. he's so amazing to me.. he makes me soo happy.. he's so great to me.. and my family loves him.. he's just all around.. wonderful.. i love him.. with everything i got..

well tonight.. in fact right now.. we we're IMing.. and the conversation started out with how happy i make him and how i'm the best thing to happen to him.. and then out of no where.. he said how all his guy friends keep asking him when is he going to marry me.. but he followed it up with 'i wouldn't want to put you through all this as my wife, it'll he hard on you' i was confused at first.. but we're going through our first deployment in the spring..
my response was.. 'either way, gf or wife.. i'm going through it.. and i dont think a ring is going to make a difference of how much i'm going to stress, worry and miss you'.. and then he asked if i thought it would harder being my wife.. instantly i knew what was wrong.. so i told him 'i dont think things can get any harder than they are now' he was quiet for a bit.. mind you this.. we're webcamming too.. so i told him 'look i know what is wrong here, your afraid to make me your wife bc your deploying, and that will be 6 months of our relationship apart, and in that time.. you think i'm going to be scared.. and leave.. bc that is what other girls would do.. but i'm not other girls.. in 6 months i'm going to be standing right beside you supporting you.. well not literally beside you.. but you know what i mean' my joke softened the mood..
he was all you dont i'm moving too fast.. bc most ppl think i move to fast in relationships.. and then he continued with ppl dont see it this way.. i know what i want and i am all in for it.. either i love you or i dont, either i want to spend the rest of my life with you or i dont.. but sometimes ppl stop me.. so interrupted and asked 'in this case, how am i stopping you?' and he said.. idk how your going to react.. so i said 'if you asked me to marry you over IM your just lame.. but either way.. their is no doubt in my mind that i would say yes.. i love you.. i love the way you make me feel.. you make so happy.. you are everything i wanted when i wasn't even looking, but i'm glad i found you'
so then it led to him proposing sometime when he's home.. and finding a ring.. so i was all 'ooo i'll help' haha.. he laughed.. he was all isn't the whole ring thing supposed to be a surprise.. he was all idk i've never done this before but i think it is.. but i said.. well sice you dont know about jewelrey.. i'm just here to help you out.. and he was all screw it.. in our case we already know it's going to happen.. might as well.. so he took information on what i like in rings.. and he bought me a i'm guessing 10 or 14k white gold, 3stone princess cute engagement ring.. i have the picture..
but i wanted to ask you ladies what you thought.. i know how i feel about it.. and i know what i'm going to do.. but i want someone else perspective on it.. i know the majority of y'all or going to say i'm happy for you.. yada yada.. but i want honest opinions.. if that is your honest opinion.. whoo hoo.. i am so happy.. my best friend.. who is a total hater.. pretty much just let me have it on how stupid i am.. and how i'm making the biggest mistake of my life.. i know my family is supportive of it.. even though only me and my mom have discussed it.. and she's supportive of it.. my dad loves him.. but he might be a lil tougher..
i wanna know what you girls think.. bc once upon a time you were the ones about the get engaged to your military SO and your going to in the near future.. and i wanna know what you think..

Edit: i forgot a question.. do you think it's cheating bc i know what ring i'm getting? i mean idk when he's going to propose i just know it's sometime when he comes home..
sorry for babling!


edited:changed spelling(:
and italics.

So well, I know everyone's excited for christmas visits etc, so sorry to be a downer but this has been playing on my mind recently.

( cut for rambling )

My SO is coming home today for three weeks for Christmas !

I'm so nervous, as it's so strange having him back home. I get used to not seeing him, and expecting him to just turn up on my doorstep! Just a few hours to go noww!

I hope everyone else has a lovely Christmas, and my thoughts are with those who cannot be together this holiday.

Rebecca xx

i know i haven't posted in soo long.. the last weeks of school got very hectic.. but here is a lil update.. in 9days.. i will be picking him up from the airport.. and he will be spending christmas with me.. i'm excited.. we survived our first underway.. and in spring we will survive our first deplyment.. i couldn't be happier in my LDR..

Ever paranoid your long distance person has cheated on you?

God, I fail. I just, I dunno...

:(

So I think for Christmas I want to make a cd or two of love songs for Garry. I don't really have the money to buy him anything, unfortunately. I might draw a picture or write a letter or something but I mainly want the music.

So I ask this: what songs do you and your SO feel a connection/bond with? Any songs you think I should include? What are "your" songs? :)

I appreciate any suggestions of any genre!

Ok so I've started to look for some jobs in canada, seeing that I'd have to make a living I figured securing a job first would make the most sense, and I keep coming to the same dead end. Do I need a work permit before I can actually take a job, or is that something I do after? What is confusing is that if I want to work there I need a permit, but it seems that I cant get a permit unless I have a job that will hire me. Any advice would help.

Stats: http://community.livejournal.com/loversfaraway/3115575.html

Our first meeting finally happened in November. Against everyone's advice I stayed over in his appartment, which was pretty much the best decision I could have made. We hit it off right away and have been inseperable for the two weeks I was there. I met pretty much all his family (mom, siblings, grandparents, 6 aunts + pile of cousins) so lots of visits and "are you coming over for dinner?" calls had to be handled. Celebrated my first Thanksgiving which was quite....special and got his mom's approval when she took him to the side and said "She's nice. You did well!". Despite my careful planning, we really didn't get to do as much sightseeing as planned. We went to NY to see the Natural History Museum but I was so tired from the jetlag and all the socializing that we didn't do much else. On leaving his grandmother told me she'd be happy to welcome me into the family, which I found a very warming and comforting thing to hear.

Joe's visit to the Netherlands was planned for April, but now he will be coming over the 3rd week of February and staying till half April because I plan to visit him again for my 2 month summer vacation so we wanted to space our visits a bit more (I realize we're very lucky to be able to see eachother so often despite that damn ocean in between).

We have very little pictures of us together because his grandmother is hogging all the Thanksgiving pictures, but here is one we took in NY (we both look so silly but I guess that is pretty much what defines us as a couple xD)

( Bunch of monkeys )

Hi everybody! I've been away from this community for quite a while because I was spending time enjoying a few months of being SD. My original stats are here but I'm going to update them because it's been a while since I wrote that.

Here goes..
My name: Bridget
His/Her name: Wayne
I live: Hawaii
He/She lives: Hawaii (currently deployed)
My age: 24
His/Her age: 24
Distance: An ocean!
Together since: May 2008
How we met: High School, but we reconnected when he was visiting for Christmas in 2007
We get to see each other (approximately how often): Not until April
Future plans: Once he comes back from his deployment we're moving to Memphis, buying a house, and we get to spend every night together for 3 years!
Share some photos:

( Pics )

this might be one of the weirdest questions ive ever asked... but please dont think its a joke

i was in LDR for 8 months this year and it was the best time of my life till he broke up with me few weeks ago. im slowly healing but i cant deal with the feeling of loneliness.
i dont actually try to meet local boys as they just have a different view on life than i have and i like the excitement of dating a foreigner.
that realtionship i had was great.. kept me going. i know i know.. its very hard to do, i remember getting my visa to canada to see him and than the ugly break up but anyway.. id loved it. id call it pleasant worries :) not like thinking of my brothers tumor and so on. i like to fight for love coz what else in the life can make you happy for a long time?

so where would you say is the best place to meet NORMAL boys? i met my ex on Facebook via AYI but im looking for more tips